Final Blog: A call for action!!!

For the final blog I wanted to wrap up everything I have talked about with a challenge for everyone who has been following this blog. I have talked about everything from the legal aspects of interracial dating to the harships the couples face to some success stories I have highlighted. With this blog, I hoped to bring awarness to all of these issues and portray interracial relationships in a way that people can really understand. With that being said, my goal was to hopefully inspire everyone to take some action towards change. Because of the complexity and deep rooted issues associated with this topic, for change to occur, it will take effort from everyone. On a micro level anyone can influence change. By this, i mean, just by being more conscience of the way we think every day and the judgements we pass on people, we can work to break down the ignorant stereotypes that plague the interracial dating and marriage communities. If we can work to change the way we think and the way the people think around us in our everyday lives, there is hope for a more macro level change. Although, interracial dating and marriage is legal now and that aspect of the battle is over, there are still many things that need to change. My opinion is that the only way this change can occur is if we all work together. So my challenge to everyone is to work hard every day to change the way you think and lead by example.

Alvin and Omelia Garner: A story of success

I wanted my bloggers choice to highlight another success story of an interracial couple that faced many hardships during the first years of their relationships. Alvin and Omelia Garner met and married during the hist0ric battle over interracial marriage laws. They were among the first to marry in 1968 after the ban on interracial marriage was lifted due to the courage of the Lovings in Virginia. Alvin and Omelia were the first interracial couple in Orange county to ever be issued a marriage liscence, making their story extremely important. Aside from the legal battles Omelia and Alvin faced, they faced many of the same issues that interracial couples of today face. Alvin's family wanted nothing to do with Omelia because she was black andvirtually no one in the societies of their day accepted their relationship. Although, their obstacles were plentiful and not easy, the Garners pushed through it all knowing they wanted to spend their lives together. In June of this year, Omelia and Alvin had their 40th wedding anniversary where they proudly renewed their vows.

The reason I chose this couple to highlight this week is because they are living proof that true love and committment can withstand all troubles. They are a message to couples of all kind whether they be same sex, interracial, or a mix of ages that if you truly want to be with each other and the relationship is healthy.. GO FOR IT!! Life is too short for anyone to live or base decisions about their lives based on the ideals of the current trends in our nation. The best and most important things in life are worth fighting for. Omelia and Alvin fought to be together, and forty years later, it is still worth the fight to them. To read more about Omelia and Alvin and their ceremony or to read a newspaper article published about them in the 60's check out: http://thestory.org/archive/the_story_543_Interracial_Marriage.mp3/view

Interracial Dating: Still much opposition

Although there has been much progression in the acceptance of interracial dating, unfortunately, there are still some affluent members of our society that actively protest against it. Not only do they protest against it, but they do it in a way that is degrading to the black race and their history. One person I found that is a good example of this is Dr. Ed Fields.

Dr. Fields was born in 1932 and is a known white supremist and a member of the Klu Klux Klan. He was an activist in the neo-nazi movement. In addition, he preaches that the inter mixing of the white and black races is against god and will lead to the demise of civilization. He was a part of many Klan rallies.

To read more on Dr. Fields and his history follow this link: http://www.adl.org/learn/ext_us/Fields.asp?xpicked=2&item=Fields

He created a whole article that talks about the low IQs of the black race and how disease runs ramped among their community. Of course, he thinks, this will only lead to the decreasing value of the white ( superior) race.This article was titled Interracial dating, Interracial Marriage, Judgement Day. This article was posted on a website called
The Truth at Last
Truth Tract: Dysgenics

To read this article follow this link: http://www.stormfront.org/truth_at_last/archives/interracial.htm

His ideas seem absurd to the average american today, but there are many who still feel this radically about the issue and are not ashamed to say it. I believe this is something people need to be aware of so that we can work more actively to disarm these extremists. There are plenty of experts that say that this sort of extreme opinion can only lead to violence and discrimination, therefore our nation needs to move away from this harmful way of thinking. Dr. Fields is just one of many extremists and anti- interracial dating activists. Many of these ideas do not focus on issues within an actual interracial relationship that would be harmful to either party, but rather, they focus on how inferior the black race is and how they are not good enough to be mixed with the white race. It is sad that there are still people in this country that believe this way; however, it is important that we are aware of them. In order to change a way a thinking that is harmful, we need to understand it and therefore we need to understand the thinking of these radicals. If we can understand them, perhaps we can help change them.

Interracial Dating Sites and Blogs

Within the interracial dating community there are many blogs and websites set up where people can come together to chat and share common experiences. Many are places where people can just share opinions on relevant issues and many have dating resources much like e harmony type sites. One site I found was the Interracial Dating Central Blog : http://www.interracialdatingcentral.com/blog/. This site is a mixture of various blogs as well as dating opportunities. One really interesting post was titled Interracial Datinig: getting personal.

August 14th, 2008
Interracial dating: getting personalPosted by James

I was going through various interracial dating articles the other day and I bumped into this comment. My first reaction was WTF! Are we ever going to get past black and white dating? Are we ever going to let Black-White interracial couples just be? Well this I had to share:

“I feel that interracial dating among minorities is fine, such as Black and Asian, or any other person of color. My problem with white and black dating is the history and also the way Black people are treated by White America still today. I believe the only reason Whites want to date Black people is to further divide our families and our communities, love has nothing to do with it. When Black men and women stood together, our communities were stronger, our children were better off as a whole and economically our communities were more vital. Please don’t be fooled by White people’s trickery anymore. And furthermore, in America there has always been interracial dating. This time Black women are not being taken behind the wood shed, they are making the decision to be with White men. How can sleeping with the enemy be beneficial to any person of color? … The majority of White people in this country are still racist, even the ones who date outside of their race. Talk to some of the people who have married Whites, especially the White women are the most racist of them all. She hates Black women and loves the Black man?”

Since this person is saying black-black dating made the black communities stronger, I believe he or she also means dating Whites makes the communities weaker. And if this person is for interracial dating within minorities, how does that make the Black community any stronger? I thought interracial dating is interracial dating. The composition doesn’t matter. Should we really be dragged behind by the history of slavery? uuuuuuughhhhhhh!!! Snap out of it!
Enough about my opinion. What do you think?

The general consensus on the blogger was total disagreement. It was a pretty equal number of whites and blacks who responded to the woman's blog, and all were angry. I thing that i found so interesting was how hyprocritical the woman was. She could not stop talking about how racist white people still are when she was clearly a pretty extreme racist herself. This was evident in her sleeping with the "enemy" comment. She thinks of white people as the enemy. In addition to her being racist towards white people in general, she was very degrading of blacks as well. She is saying that black people who date whites are being tricked and completely unloved by their white significant others. This to me, seems to imply that a black person who dates a white person is not intelligent enough to see when they are being tricked, or lack self worth for putting up with. How insulting to both parties!!! However, even though there are some questionable bloggers on this site, the whole point is that people have a place where they can express their opinions freely. Even though her opinion is widely disagreed upon, she still has the right to voice her beliefs.

The site offers stories of sucess for online daters, most popular blogs, and relevant information. Its a good place to go to read up on recent controversy and meet people with similar backgrounds.

Loving

Mildred and Richard Loving were indicted and pleaded guilty to violating Virginia's 1924 Racial Integrity Act.
For marrying the only man she ever loved, Mildred Loving was arrested, convicted and banished from her home state.
The Commonwealth of Virginia handed down such punishments in the 1950s to couples whose love the state did not sanction: She was black; her husband, Richard, was white; and their union was prohibited by law.
The marriage could have collapsed under the hammer of Jim Crow. Instead, the Lovings' challenge of the law led to a Supreme Court ruling in 1967 that toppled bans on interracial marriages nationwide.
For Mrs. Loving, the issue was always simple: "I think marrying who you want is a right no man should have anything to do with," she said in a 1967 segment of "ABC News." "It's a God-given right."
Mrs. Loving, 68, died of pneumonia May 2 at her home in Central Point, Va., said her daughter, Peggy Fortune.
In 1958, when the Lovings were arrested, laws supporting segregation were falling, but half of the states still had anti-miscegenation laws, said Peter Wallenstein, a professor of history at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in Blacksburg, Va. Those laws deprived Americans of the most intimate of decisions: who could be their spouse.
"This was the last piece — and it was a big piece — in the whole structure of Jim Crow," Wallenstein said.
In Virginia's Caroline County, where Mildred Jeter was born July 22, 1939, a 1691 statute outlawed marriage between whites and nonwhites. An 1878 law introduced a penalty of up to five years in prison and a clause: Those who married out of state, then returned to Virginia, would be treated the same as those who had married in the state.
The Lovings had done just that. The couple drove to Washington, D.C., married on June 2, 1958, then returned to Caroline County, where they moved in with Mrs. Loving's parents.
The Lovings woke up about 2 a.m. one July night to see the sheriff and deputies surrounding their bed, shining flashlights.
Richard Loving rushed to show the men their marriage license. The sheriff was not moved. "That's no good here," he said.
"They told us to get up, get dressed. I couldn't believe they were taking us to jail," Mrs. Loving said.
The Lovings were indicted and pleaded guilty to violating the 1924 Racial Integrity Act, another version of the state's anti-miscegenation law. Judge Leon Bazile sentenced the couple to a year in jail but suspended the sentence for 25 years on the condition they leave the state and not return together during that time.
The Lovings moved to Washington, D.C. In 1963, Mrs. Loving wrote to then-Attorney General Robert F. Kenney and asked for his help. The Justice Department referred the couple to the American Civil Liberties Union.
The Lovings' case landed at the Supreme Court. On June 12, 1967, the court ruled 9-0 that Virginia's laws were aimed at white supremacy, were unconstitutional and violated the 14th Amendment.
The couple moved back to Virginia. In 1975, Richard Loving was killed by a drunken driver in a car accident. Mildred Loving, who never remarried, died one month shy of what would have been her 50th wedding anniversary.
In addition to her daughter, she is survived by a son, Sidney Loving, of Tappahannock, Va.; eight grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren. A son, Donald, died in 2000.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/obituaries/2004406157_lovingobit11.html

Mildred and Richard Loving were some of the most influential people and advocates for rights within interracial relationships. Without their courage and fight, it is tenative whether or not the rights of interracial couples would be what they are today. For this reason, I felt it necessary to honor the passing of Mildred Loving on May 2nd of this year.

Although, Mildred and Richard are no longer alive, their message is still heard around the country and many people have liberties due to their story.

The message that the Lovings left behind was not only relevant to those in interracial relationships, but to anyone fighting for the right to live their lives of their own accord.

Many people have compared their case to the cases of the same sex couples currently fighting for equal rights and recognized marriage. They are inspiring to to those who feel that things cant change and those who want to give up after many harsh objections and sacrifices that have seemingly been for nothing. Because they didnt give up and were willing to sacrifice to be treated with respect, it is evident that with perserverance and will, anything is possible.

One thing is true in this country: history always repeats itself and no change is impossible. If we can look back on people like the Lovings, even in their death, we can find hope for change and the will to continue fighting for whatever requires it.

Interracial Dating in America Uncovered

This video says it all......... Most of the people in the video seemed to be very representational of the larger populations of which they belong. Take the first african american woman talking for example. She is talking about an issue that is very common. Many of the African American women who speak on this issue refer to the tendency the more successful and affluent African American men in this society dating white women. The arguement is that these men come from the same spot as the women in their community. Why not reach back and involve the African American women in the success. Whether or not this is the case, this is a common argument.

Looking at the next couple. The white female with the black male. They talk about the questions they get asked. How many kids does they guy have? Does he have a job? Is there domestic violence involved? What does this mean. This means number one, that all black men are out fathering all these kids and not working and they all hit the white women they are with. Clearly this is not the case. Number two, they are implying that any white woman who would be with a black man obviously is not capable of picking good men and being in a healthy relationship. They have no respect for themselves, they get taken advantage of, and they are sluts. This is all ridiculous.

The video shows a white guy thats pissed that the black men are taking all the white woman. Also, the Black man that saw porn growing up, but only ever saw white women shown in the porn. Society is saying that only white is sexy, white is what is beautiful. Many men growing up being taught this ridiculous notion that white woman and beautiful are synonymous. Like there are no other options even though there are beautiful black women, asian women, latina woman and etc. all over the world. You name the place, there are beautiful people there. With all the different races in this country, how are we still so narrow minded?

I could go on forever abotu the issues this video touches on but it speaks for itself........watch it.

Just A Thought

I went through a few blogs searching for the perfect depiction of some common issues with interracial dating and the role that racism plays in the process. I came across a blog on wordpress called It's Not Always Black and White. In one specific post the young african american author of the post described a situation that pertained to interracial dating. The post was full of contridictions and i think that really speaks to american culture. She talked about how she met a guy at a club who was white. He got her number but since she was african american, she said it would not work. The description of her encounter was in the first paragraph of her post, but she then goes on to the second paragraph where she claims to be a proponate of interracial dating. She states that race should not have an influence on who one dates. To me, like i stated earlier, this is indicative of broad american society. People are afraid to date people from other races because they dont want to be the one on the chopping block, not because they are not attracted to people from other races. People would rather take the approach "its just not for me". Basically, she clearly says she wont call this guy because he is white, but then, she wants to make sure she is politically correct and states how wonderful interracial dating is! Which is it? She really means.... im too good for interracial dating because i dont want to be judged or looked down upon; however, more power to the people who dare to do it. If you are going to outwardly speak on interracial dating in a positive light, you really should not start the post with a story about how you refused to call a potential dating partner because of his or her race. It makes no sense. Its just like someone saying "I have no problems with homosexuals" but then wont be caught dead associating with a homosexual. This makes no sense either, but it is just as common as people who claim to have nothing against interracial dating; however, theyactively avoid it in their personal lives. Its all about image in the american culture. People dont want to look bad by dating interracially, but they also dont want to look bad by stating they are against it, making them seem racist. Maybe..just maybe.. people should date based on compatabiltiy, attraction levels or common interests instead of dating based on skin color. Just a thought.

If anyone wants to read this blog the url is http://athinlinebetweenloveandhate.wordpress.com/2008/09/27/interracial-dating/

One Couple's Experience

For this blog I wanted to touch on a personal story. I wanted get in touch with a couple that has dealt with the hardships of such a relationship. After doing a bit of research, I stumbled across an article by Mark Mathabane. This article was titled interrational myths still nag couples.

Mathabane begins by describing an experiencehe and his wife shared while promoting their book, Love in Black and White. He goes on to describe a situation in which the entirety of the auditorium was evacuated due to a bomb threat. The threat was made by a person who disapproved of interracial relationships.

Being that this occurred in 1992, the author admits that attitudes towards interracial couples have changed for the better. It starts getting really interesting when he begins to speak about the myths and stereotypes that exist in the shadow of the greater acceptance. Mathabane describes a few commmon myths that haunt the interracial world. Peole seem to misunderstand and attribute them to superficial foundations.

He continues his article by countering and bring light to some realities of interracial couplings. the point he makes is that in many interracial couples one or both partners make a lot of sacrifice to make the realtionship work. He states "one parter was disowned by parents or ostericized by friends and relations for loving across races". Why would one make such a large sacrifice fro a superficail cause?

As support for his claim that interracial marriages tend to last longer than same race marriage, he explains that interracial couples seldom take anything for granted. To prove his point, Mathadane outlined some harsh stereotypes that interracial couples face on a daily basis....even in our " modern, non racist society". People often attribute interracial dating negitively rather then positively. A white woman has a low self esteem for dating a black man or black men see white women as trophies. These are just a couple of the stereotypes that Mathabane outlines in his article. His argument is that people often have greater confidence levels in interracial realtionships, because they have to endure such scrutitny and still overcome it.

In addition, Mathabane talks about what it means to have multi-racial children and what things they may face. He says that his children have an advantage because they feel comfortable with all groups. They fit in the white and black communities, as well as other diverse groups of people. His hope as that his children will be examples of unity and compassion for diversity and not victims of opression and judgement.

This is a great story about how people can take the negativity society places on interracial dating and turn them into positives. Rather then breaking down from the difficulty, they were able to become a stronger and more unified couple because of it. It shows that great things can happen when people keep an open mind.

you can read this article at http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/2001-08-22-ncguest2.htm

Recent Controversy

Many people in today's society lack understanding of the controversy and hardhsip that still exists for interracial couples in modern times. These hardships seem to be especially prevelant for couples consisting of an african american and caucasion person. A recent article in the Seattle Times covered a story about an attack on a couple that was racially motivated. I will provide a link at the end of the blog for anyone who wants to read the article word for word.

The article was title Guilty Plea in racial Longview Assault. There was an eighteen year old transient man who was accused of attacking a young interracial couple. The suspect, Michael Mooney, decided to take a plea of a lesser charge of assault instead of facing a charge of malicious harassment hate crime.

The victims were a 14 year old white boy and a 13 year old black girl. The victims allegedly told police on August 21st that they were attacked by a man that had a swastika on him. The man hit the boy in the mouth which broke his jaw. He then shouted racially discriminatory comments to the girl and pushed her to the ground.

The man is predicted to get fourteen months in prison for this assault.

This story is proof, unfortunately, that radical racist behavior still occurs. For this one act of violence, there is probably many more people thinking racist thoughts that just dont act on it. These are things that people need to be conscience and aware of because it is still an issue that affects a lot of lives.

For those who want to read the article >>>> http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008270041_webinterracial15m.html

Trouble Within

Relationships are hard enough as it is without the pressures and judgements of society on the shoulders of it. Within a realtionship, there are things that cause everyday sturggles and obstacles for the couple such as money or or disagreements on household chores. There are certain things people expect to have issues with in a developing relationships...but what if you had to deal with your own realtionship and the internal problems as well the problems society or even family places upon it. Reading another blog on interracial dating, I noticed that this is a common thing for most interracial couples. This couple from GA consisted of a white male and a black female. When they were just friends and seen together, they would get looks or people would make comments; however, it was not until they started dating that things started to get to them. The blog went on to describe how hard it was to deal with opposing family members from both sides as well as the community members that had a problem with couples being different races. Because of contstant scrutiny and hardship from external sources, it makes it a lot more difficult for interracial couples to concentrate on the internal issues between them that every couple has to deal with. This puts an incredible amount of pressure and negativity into the realtionship that otherwise would not have existed. For many couples family, friends, and somtimes other memebers of society provide a support network of people to go to for help and advice. Imagine if the majority of these people did not support the relationship and therefore wanted nothing to do with it. This relationship will have to be ten times stronger on its own, since it has no support network to fall back on. It makes it hard to maintain a happy and healthy relationship when its constantly being torn down and there is no one to turn to for help. Interracial couples make many sacrifices sometimes including their family and friends to be together. Dating interracially is becoming increasingly common and widely more accepted; however, the issues i outlined earlier are still very much so present in much of the US and the world. To read the other blog on interracial couples that this post referred to go to.. http://interracialcouples.blogspot.com/

Trends in interracial relationships

People have had issues with interracial relationships for centuries. Many have made arguments about interracial relationships leading to impurity among the distinct races. In the United States, main opposition has come from groups such as the Kl Klux Klan. Even though times have certainly changed, and trends in interracial relationships have evolved over the years, the US remains one of the few countries in the world that has banned interracial dating in the past. Certain laws that prohibited people from dating inter racially, gave hate groups such as the Klu Klux Clan a foundation from which to commit hate crimes.
Because all laws banning the interracial dating have been lifted, it has become a much more accepted and practiced notion in the United States. The last anti-miscegenation was struck down in 1967, and there has been a steady increase of interracial couples since that time. Although, the US got rid of its last law in 1967, certain universities have prohibited interracial dating based on biblical references up until recently. For example, Bob Jones University in South Caroline just removed their regulations on interracial dating in 2000. In 1970, interracial marriages represented only about .7% of all US marriages. By 1992, there represented about 2.2% of all marriages with a documented 1,161,000 interracial marriages in the US. This number continues to rise, as it is becomeing more and more acceptable for couples to date and eventually marry interracially. In fact, in 2003, a poll of Americans of varrying races showed that only 30% of Americans are opposed to interracial marriages at that point, which is a huge decrease from earlier years. Still with there being more acceptance, statistics show that people are more comfortable with white-hispanic or white-Asian marriages, than they are with white-black marriages. Furthermore, amond those who do approve of white-black marriages, most are black. This shows that although there has been drastic change, this is a continuing issue that has room for much improvement. With the way the trends are going, we should continue to see more and more interracial couples leading to a larger percentage of interracial marriages.

My topic

The title of my blog is the controversy with interracial couples. My topic is basically going to cover the dynamics of interracial couples and how their place in society has evolved. This is an extremely significant topic, because it touches and affects many lives. Although, their is an increasing body of research on this topic, I feel this subgroup of couples may be underrepresented in the research of issues in today's relationships. Interracial couples are obviously no different than same race couples in many areas of their relationship; however, undoubtedly because of the social implications their are specific issues that only interracial couples are affected by. Because of these certain issues, the dynamics of the relationship are also affected, therefore this topic is significant due to the information that can be uncovered and contributed to relationship science through further examination. The origin of the issue is hard to pinpoint as people have been dating interracially for a long time. Because this is something that was not widely accepted historically, most research on the topic is moderately recent. This topic is interesting to me for a number of different reasons. First, I have always been extremely interested in relationship science in general, so I knew that I wanted to do a blog pertaining to this area. Furthermore, I have personal experience through myself, but also through friends, with interracial couples and some of the issues that accompany them and thought I would really be intrigued by this topic. I knew I could learn a lot and this was a topic that i have always found interesting. I also thought I would gain some great insight to the topic and apply what I learn to life situations, so this was the perfect opportunity to explore.