Just A Thought

I went through a few blogs searching for the perfect depiction of some common issues with interracial dating and the role that racism plays in the process. I came across a blog on wordpress called It's Not Always Black and White. In one specific post the young african american author of the post described a situation that pertained to interracial dating. The post was full of contridictions and i think that really speaks to american culture. She talked about how she met a guy at a club who was white. He got her number but since she was african american, she said it would not work. The description of her encounter was in the first paragraph of her post, but she then goes on to the second paragraph where she claims to be a proponate of interracial dating. She states that race should not have an influence on who one dates. To me, like i stated earlier, this is indicative of broad american society. People are afraid to date people from other races because they dont want to be the one on the chopping block, not because they are not attracted to people from other races. People would rather take the approach "its just not for me". Basically, she clearly says she wont call this guy because he is white, but then, she wants to make sure she is politically correct and states how wonderful interracial dating is! Which is it? She really means.... im too good for interracial dating because i dont want to be judged or looked down upon; however, more power to the people who dare to do it. If you are going to outwardly speak on interracial dating in a positive light, you really should not start the post with a story about how you refused to call a potential dating partner because of his or her race. It makes no sense. Its just like someone saying "I have no problems with homosexuals" but then wont be caught dead associating with a homosexual. This makes no sense either, but it is just as common as people who claim to have nothing against interracial dating; however, theyactively avoid it in their personal lives. Its all about image in the american culture. People dont want to look bad by dating interracially, but they also dont want to look bad by stating they are against it, making them seem racist. Maybe..just maybe.. people should date based on compatabiltiy, attraction levels or common interests instead of dating based on skin color. Just a thought.

If anyone wants to read this blog the url is http://athinlinebetweenloveandhate.wordpress.com/2008/09/27/interracial-dating/

One Couple's Experience

For this blog I wanted to touch on a personal story. I wanted get in touch with a couple that has dealt with the hardships of such a relationship. After doing a bit of research, I stumbled across an article by Mark Mathabane. This article was titled interrational myths still nag couples.

Mathabane begins by describing an experiencehe and his wife shared while promoting their book, Love in Black and White. He goes on to describe a situation in which the entirety of the auditorium was evacuated due to a bomb threat. The threat was made by a person who disapproved of interracial relationships.

Being that this occurred in 1992, the author admits that attitudes towards interracial couples have changed for the better. It starts getting really interesting when he begins to speak about the myths and stereotypes that exist in the shadow of the greater acceptance. Mathabane describes a few commmon myths that haunt the interracial world. Peole seem to misunderstand and attribute them to superficial foundations.

He continues his article by countering and bring light to some realities of interracial couplings. the point he makes is that in many interracial couples one or both partners make a lot of sacrifice to make the realtionship work. He states "one parter was disowned by parents or ostericized by friends and relations for loving across races". Why would one make such a large sacrifice fro a superficail cause?

As support for his claim that interracial marriages tend to last longer than same race marriage, he explains that interracial couples seldom take anything for granted. To prove his point, Mathadane outlined some harsh stereotypes that interracial couples face on a daily basis....even in our " modern, non racist society". People often attribute interracial dating negitively rather then positively. A white woman has a low self esteem for dating a black man or black men see white women as trophies. These are just a couple of the stereotypes that Mathabane outlines in his article. His argument is that people often have greater confidence levels in interracial realtionships, because they have to endure such scrutitny and still overcome it.

In addition, Mathabane talks about what it means to have multi-racial children and what things they may face. He says that his children have an advantage because they feel comfortable with all groups. They fit in the white and black communities, as well as other diverse groups of people. His hope as that his children will be examples of unity and compassion for diversity and not victims of opression and judgement.

This is a great story about how people can take the negativity society places on interracial dating and turn them into positives. Rather then breaking down from the difficulty, they were able to become a stronger and more unified couple because of it. It shows that great things can happen when people keep an open mind.

you can read this article at http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/2001-08-22-ncguest2.htm

Recent Controversy

Many people in today's society lack understanding of the controversy and hardhsip that still exists for interracial couples in modern times. These hardships seem to be especially prevelant for couples consisting of an african american and caucasion person. A recent article in the Seattle Times covered a story about an attack on a couple that was racially motivated. I will provide a link at the end of the blog for anyone who wants to read the article word for word.

The article was title Guilty Plea in racial Longview Assault. There was an eighteen year old transient man who was accused of attacking a young interracial couple. The suspect, Michael Mooney, decided to take a plea of a lesser charge of assault instead of facing a charge of malicious harassment hate crime.

The victims were a 14 year old white boy and a 13 year old black girl. The victims allegedly told police on August 21st that they were attacked by a man that had a swastika on him. The man hit the boy in the mouth which broke his jaw. He then shouted racially discriminatory comments to the girl and pushed her to the ground.

The man is predicted to get fourteen months in prison for this assault.

This story is proof, unfortunately, that radical racist behavior still occurs. For this one act of violence, there is probably many more people thinking racist thoughts that just dont act on it. These are things that people need to be conscience and aware of because it is still an issue that affects a lot of lives.

For those who want to read the article >>>> http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008270041_webinterracial15m.html

Trouble Within

Relationships are hard enough as it is without the pressures and judgements of society on the shoulders of it. Within a realtionship, there are things that cause everyday sturggles and obstacles for the couple such as money or or disagreements on household chores. There are certain things people expect to have issues with in a developing relationships...but what if you had to deal with your own realtionship and the internal problems as well the problems society or even family places upon it. Reading another blog on interracial dating, I noticed that this is a common thing for most interracial couples. This couple from GA consisted of a white male and a black female. When they were just friends and seen together, they would get looks or people would make comments; however, it was not until they started dating that things started to get to them. The blog went on to describe how hard it was to deal with opposing family members from both sides as well as the community members that had a problem with couples being different races. Because of contstant scrutiny and hardship from external sources, it makes it a lot more difficult for interracial couples to concentrate on the internal issues between them that every couple has to deal with. This puts an incredible amount of pressure and negativity into the realtionship that otherwise would not have existed. For many couples family, friends, and somtimes other memebers of society provide a support network of people to go to for help and advice. Imagine if the majority of these people did not support the relationship and therefore wanted nothing to do with it. This relationship will have to be ten times stronger on its own, since it has no support network to fall back on. It makes it hard to maintain a happy and healthy relationship when its constantly being torn down and there is no one to turn to for help. Interracial couples make many sacrifices sometimes including their family and friends to be together. Dating interracially is becoming increasingly common and widely more accepted; however, the issues i outlined earlier are still very much so present in much of the US and the world. To read the other blog on interracial couples that this post referred to go to.. http://interracialcouples.blogspot.com/